Memorizing Two and a Half Miles
I remember when I took Decembers off. A break from riding bikes and such.
This was before I was running. Before I channeled my antsy and busyness into constructive activities. The days are shorter and the temps are not too inviting this time of year. Even though I live in the Southwest and it is completely doable, the steed was hung up and parked in the stable for weeks. Perhaps on a warm sunny Saturday, I would crawl out of the comfort of my house, and embrace the outsides for a brief moment.
Last year at this time I was looking at my Garmin totals for the year. Seeing how many active days I had after 365 days had passed. I realized I wanted to be out doing more. I had intentions of breaking 300. This was swinging for the fences though. Being active more than five days a week for the whole year was definitely a challenge, and that may have been too much to handle. I shelved that idea with just a vague goal of, "being more active." Three to five days a week is more realistic I told myself. With that idea I let the year unfold.
The pandemic happened, I hiked the JMT, and overall I found myself outside running or riding more this year. My goal I had vaguely sort of set months ago must have been boiling beneath the surface.
John Taylor was tackling a Month of riding the Zen trail under the name, Nozenber. I did too, almost. Except I practically had a Nozember of riding it twice. He rode it everyday for a month. This is a Herculean effort though. Just over 6 miles long, it is steep and technical. Add to it a fair amount of elevation, this was more than I wanted to take on, or even remotely commit too.
John Taylor was tackling a Month of riding the Zen trail under the name, Nozenber. I did too, almost. Except I practically had a Nozember of riding it twice. He rode it everyday for a month. This is a Herculean effort though. Just over 6 miles long, it is steep and technical. Add to it a fair amount of elevation, this was more than I wanted to take on, or even remotely commit too.
I ride Zen maybe a dozen times a year... if that. Thirty would more than double that. I settled on something close to home and attainable.
Secret Sauce. A mere two and half mile long loop. Child's play really. From my house I had just shy of a five mile ride to loop it and be back. I can do this.
I have figured out that If I want to run more often, I have to slow my pace and keep the miles shorter. Keep the pace in the nines. Avoid back to back days, and then the body doesn't revolt. But since I thought of this goal a day or two before December, I set myself up for trouble.
Back to back solid daily runs, a dash of MegaZen, and a full workload leading up to a monthly challenge had my body revolting. Three days into this challenge my legs screamed and I ended up backing off for a few days in hopes of letting my body recover. I convinced myself to rest and would have to make it up later on. Eight days into this monthly challenge and I was already five days behind.
This is when it became a chore.
I was five days behind now and I have to lap this boring trail back to back to try and get ahead before I end up further behind. Thankfully it is short enough for a lap before work. Double laps would be much more appropriate after work though.
All month long I would try and get out of work in time to get laps in before the sun went down. Juggling a higher than average workload kept steering the ship further into the storm. I would find myself home just after 6:00pm and had zero motivation to go back outside in the cold and suffer in the dark. The fireplace and a beer is too appealing to turn down.
Monthly challenges are for masochists.
And then on cue, the doubts rolled in.
Secret Sauce. A mere two and half mile long loop. Child's play really. From my house I had just shy of a five mile ride to loop it and be back. I can do this.
I have figured out that If I want to run more often, I have to slow my pace and keep the miles shorter. Keep the pace in the nines. Avoid back to back days, and then the body doesn't revolt. But since I thought of this goal a day or two before December, I set myself up for trouble.
Back to back solid daily runs, a dash of MegaZen, and a full workload leading up to a monthly challenge had my body revolting. Three days into this challenge my legs screamed and I ended up backing off for a few days in hopes of letting my body recover. I convinced myself to rest and would have to make it up later on. Eight days into this monthly challenge and I was already five days behind.
This is when it became a chore.
I was five days behind now and I have to lap this boring trail back to back to try and get ahead before I end up further behind. Thankfully it is short enough for a lap before work. Double laps would be much more appropriate after work though.
All month long I would try and get out of work in time to get laps in before the sun went down. Juggling a higher than average workload kept steering the ship further into the storm. I would find myself home just after 6:00pm and had zero motivation to go back outside in the cold and suffer in the dark. The fireplace and a beer is too appealing to turn down.
Monthly challenges are for masochists.
And then on cue, the doubts rolled in.
"This isn't fun."
"Ok, I want to ride something else now."
"Who needs goals?"
"Ok, I want to ride something else now."
"Who needs goals?"
"I'm such an asshole, it's 5:39 in the morning, 26° out, and pitch black. And a flashlight? What am I doing..."
"This is too easy of a goal, so that is why I'm over it."
"Shit, I can't even ride an easy trail like this daily. Who am I kidding."
It has been super dry this year, and I kept seeing fb memories and google photo notifications of years past reminding me of previous wet winter outings. So when a chance of rain showed one afternoon mid December, I took the opportunity to get three laps in and ride while it was gloomy and threatening to rain.
As usual, it was cold and overcast. Small drops of rain landed on my glasses. The clouds were moody and pine valley mountain would show itself every so often in between the clouds. The sun came out and bathed distant ridges in warm light. My intention was also pointed down at the ground now. Lap after lap I kept my attention off the actual trail and towards everything else that was laid out before me.
The cactus that a ride past daily started to become more familiar. I knew what is ahead like I knew the back of my hand. I knew where the crypto was more interesting to look at, and were all the chert pebbles are hiding. Areas where the cholla like to grow and where the pincushions like to hide. I looked for barrels but noticed... there are no barrels out here. They live south of here on south facing slopes. They also frequent this same soil type over on the barrel trail and its adjoining mesas, but are absent here. My mind looked for answers and kept putting pieces together.
"This is too easy of a goal, so that is why I'm over it."
"Shit, I can't even ride an easy trail like this daily. Who am I kidding."
It has been super dry this year, and I kept seeing fb memories and google photo notifications of years past reminding me of previous wet winter outings. So when a chance of rain showed one afternoon mid December, I took the opportunity to get three laps in and ride while it was gloomy and threatening to rain.
As usual, it was cold and overcast. Small drops of rain landed on my glasses. The clouds were moody and pine valley mountain would show itself every so often in between the clouds. The sun came out and bathed distant ridges in warm light. My intention was also pointed down at the ground now. Lap after lap I kept my attention off the actual trail and towards everything else that was laid out before me.
The cactus that a ride past daily started to become more familiar. I knew what is ahead like I knew the back of my hand. I knew where the crypto was more interesting to look at, and were all the chert pebbles are hiding. Areas where the cholla like to grow and where the pincushions like to hide. I looked for barrels but noticed... there are no barrels out here. They live south of here on south facing slopes. They also frequent this same soil type over on the barrel trail and its adjoining mesas, but are absent here. My mind looked for answers and kept putting pieces together.
Over thirty days, I watched the trail change. Rocks were moved, corners softened. Plants struggled to hold on longer with little to no rain. I looked forward to my time out here. I was paying attention now and kept mental notes without realizing it.
I noticed the damage caused from the NICA races that took place back in November. Like grazing cattle; parents watched their kids as they made new trails that parallels the actual one. They trampled down the cheat grass that lightly grew on the shoulders. The occasional prickly pear was gone now as groups had came and gone. Areas where the crypto was beaten down stuck out like red paint on a canvas. I wondered if the wild flowers that go off in the spring time would return again. I noticed so much in front of me that was here three months ago, now...gone. I felt like the grown keeper now, mourning over the loss and change.
I stopped having to focus on the trail and where to point my tires. Often times I would be lost in thought and thinking about my day to day challenges, moments of enjoyment.
I noticed the damage caused from the NICA races that took place back in November. Like grazing cattle; parents watched their kids as they made new trails that parallels the actual one. They trampled down the cheat grass that lightly grew on the shoulders. The occasional prickly pear was gone now as groups had came and gone. Areas where the crypto was beaten down stuck out like red paint on a canvas. I wondered if the wild flowers that go off in the spring time would return again. I noticed so much in front of me that was here three months ago, now...gone. I felt like the grown keeper now, mourning over the loss and change.
I stopped having to focus on the trail and where to point my tires. Often times I would be lost in thought and thinking about my day to day challenges, moments of enjoyment.
Sections of trail where memorized now. Lines were laid out before me. Rocks you should ride over or around, I figured out where I should pedal more, when to coast, or if the brakes are even needed on that corner. Gain moment here and pull back over there. There is a rock gap to hit on that last grade reversal... I was smiling.
In the middle of all this I realised something. This trail actual is fun to ride. If you memorize the parts and learn to enjoy the uniqueness of it, there is a pleasure in the pursuit.
This is why we make goals.
I realized something big.
My day to day life is a repeating pattern. It is a rhythm that needs to be played slightly different over time. I got caught up in the mundane of it, but somehow I was bothered by the chord change. I forgot about why we even make goals. I figured out the chords and had made it my own.
Taking on something that is out of the norm, figuring out how it works, repeating the steps, memorizing the moves, and after enough time when we are proficient at it. The task becomes enjoyable and sometimes without even realizing it, we enjoy it and make it our own.
My day to day life is a repeating pattern. It is a rhythm that needs to be played slightly different over time. I got caught up in the mundane of it, but somehow I was bothered by the chord change. I forgot about why we even make goals. I figured out the chords and had made it my own.
Taking on something that is out of the norm, figuring out how it works, repeating the steps, memorizing the moves, and after enough time when we are proficient at it. The task becomes enjoyable and sometimes without even realizing it, we enjoy it and make it our own.
A different song was playing now. I figured out how to play it, learned the chords, enjoyed the progression and layout of the song, and without thinking about it, I learned to make it my own.
I learned a little more about myself here. Why I do the things I do. What drives me, and what I want more out of life. I learned what makes people do the things they do, and to remember that we are all in different stages of this progression and regression. Each of us trying to figure out our own rhythm and what works for us. Some are adjusting to the change and others have mastered it for a breif time. I learned to have more compassion for others then I previously had before. I did all this from a simple goal that seamed so trivial thirty days ago.
All from memorizing a two and a half mile trail.
I learned a little more about myself here. Why I do the things I do. What drives me, and what I want more out of life. I learned what makes people do the things they do, and to remember that we are all in different stages of this progression and regression. Each of us trying to figure out our own rhythm and what works for us. Some are adjusting to the change and others have mastered it for a breif time. I learned to have more compassion for others then I previously had before. I did all this from a simple goal that seamed so trivial thirty days ago.
All from memorizing a two and a half mile trail.
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